Friday, September 10, 2010

rigorousintuition.ca service interruption

If you're wondering what happened to take it offline, there's an unknown sql issue that was hammering the server. The provider's help center helpfully suggested I try googling for assistance. I don't know how long the interruption will last; it may be several days. All depends upon how soon I can find a database expert.

Monday Night Update: We're almost there, thanks to Justdrew.

Tuesday Morning Update: We're back, though the server is currently unsteady.

196 Comments:

Anonymous Ben D said...

Thanks Jeff, hope you solve your problem ASAP.

9/11/2010 12:05:00 AM  
Blogger Mutant Chainsaw said...

Any more info on the error? I'm not a database expert but do have experience with them.

9/11/2010 12:18:00 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Apparently has to do with slow queries and CPU throttling. "During the past 24 hours your account has been throttled for a total of 107.01 seconds." Though I also read from my host, "Throttling for less than 500 seconds in any given hour will not usually negatively affect your site's performance." I'm running some non-invasive checks to see if it's a simple fix. If not, I'll need an expert.

9/11/2010 12:30:00 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Or not. Now I'm hearing something else from my host.

9/11/2010 12:56:00 AM  
Anonymous seemslikeadream said...

Operation Dark Heart?


Was it something I said?


(*_*)

9/11/2010 03:15:00 AM  
Blogger Lynn S. said...

I live in the heart of geekdom, I am myself a front end geek, but no My SQL. Out I go to find them, do not despair, yet.

9/11/2010 03:29:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good opportunity to post that article you've been putting off for the last year.

;)

9/11/2010 04:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We were all waiting with baited breath on a blog post. This is a good one. This wasn't a ddos or anything was it? Or something else relatively nefarious?

Why can't the host manipulate your database? When I was with speakeasy for my old site they had people on staff who could trouble shoot and fix such things.

I suppose though, that 9/11 is as good as any other day for RI to crash.

We should probably come up with some sort of other method to contact one another should the world end sometime soon. I tweeted a tweet into the cyberverse when it all went down. Search the public timeline for #rigorousintuition. That's me on twitter! Yay! I rarely use it though. Good luck Jeff!

82_28

9/11/2010 05:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Goddamn do I wish RI was up and running.

This Operation Dark Heart shit is concerning as well as telling. Ugh!

We simply cannot trust the Internet period, can we? How do the geniuses in the Pentagon believe that "buying up" all the copies of this book won't result in even more demand of it in this day and age of cheap information cloning?

Well, let's just see what this day brings.

82_28

9/11/2010 05:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You probably got hit with an SQL injection attack....drop php and use vBulletin

9/11/2010 07:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Chadie said...

What will Barracuda do now that he can't wield his false power?

The Forum is merely a Simulacrum of the larger social system that spawned it replete with domineering oppressors and sycophantic enablers.

And seemslikeacream, you don't say anything....you merely post articles and erect shrines to wet dream idols like Julian Thestrange.

9/11/2010 08:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Close said...

Thanks Jeff, hope you solve your problem ASAP.

Unless, of course, it is due to Global Warming, then there will be no sympathy from you since you vehemently eschew such bizarre notions.

9/11/2010 08:58:00 AM  
Anonymous Grecrof said...

Goddamn do I wish RI was up and running...........
We simply cannot trust the Internet period, can we?


Does anyone see the apparent conflict in these two statements? Someone's a junkie and needs to seek help.

9/11/2010 09:01:00 AM  
Anonymous MCA said...

Maybe this is the Dream's End.

9/11/2010 09:59:00 AM  
Anonymous whipstitch said...

Hmmm. I see that the godlike productions forum is also down with a database error (not that there's anything wrong with that)...

http://www.godlikeproductions.com/

9/11/2010 10:33:00 AM  
Anonymous seemslikeadream said...

Isn't Chadie one little cleaver maggot in the morning, tell it to the hand sweetie. Never miss an opportunity to inject a personal grip? Not too fond of Assange, pray tell? Are you a posting member at RI by another name? When the site's back up I'd love to continue this conversation. So let's hook up when you emerge from that larva stage, I'll even post my own words.

btw
RI is so jammed packed with great thinking folk, I confess I do more reading than posting my own personal thoughts. I like to keep it to verifiable facts with links. That's just the way it is maggie

9/11/2010 10:45:00 AM  
Anonymous Golods said...

When the site's back up I'd love to continue this conversation.

I bet you would like to continue a conversation, if that's what you would call it, in your own Green Zone.

I like to keep it to verifiable facts with links.

Your links are nothing but arrogant opinions of two-bit hacks seeking the last dime in your pocket.

9/11/2010 11:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Secla said...

sweetie

Some say a picture is worth a thousand words, but how many pictures is a word worth?

9/11/2010 11:38:00 AM  
Blogger barracuda said...

Oh Chadie, you're so intense - I think I'm in love. Let's wield some false power together!

Happy Patriots Day, all!

Jeff, if rubbing two sticks together would be of assisstance, I'm available for a few hours each day after dinner, until this damn thing is rectified.

9/11/2010 11:56:00 AM  
Anonymous seemslikeadream said...

Golods said....

Your links are nothing but arrogant opinions of two-bit hacks seeking the last dime in your pocket.

and your words are nothing more than shit on a shingle

9/11/2010 12:04:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

Hey slad, I happen to like shit on a shingle.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Creemchippedbeaf.jpg

9/11/2010 12:26:00 PM  
Anonymous MinM said...

Don't mess with the Google.

BTW apparently some have been still posting in Rigorint 1.0.

9/11/2010 12:30:00 PM  
Anonymous seemslikeadream said...

cuda

apparently so

[i]Oh Chadie, you're so intense - I think I'm in love.[/i]



[b]known for its large size and fearsome appearance. Its body is long, fairly compressed, and covered with small, smooth scales.[/b]

why do you torture me this way?

9/11/2010 12:49:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is just crazy, its like my internets been turned off

word verification was manatee lol

9/11/2010 01:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Morocco Bama said...

Hey, the jailbird playing prison warden has arrived. The only real authority he has in his life is the RI Forum.

Everybody's a handy man when this kind of shit happens, yet they're completely useless.

9/11/2010 01:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Julian's Astrange said...

I'm available for a few hours each day after dinner, until this damn thing is rectified.

I'm sure you are. This has to be driving someone like you crazy. The need to browbeat and ban someone is so addicting. You need your fix.

The unfortunate thing is, once you're gone, there is always another Judenrat to keep the ghetto in line. Always.

9/11/2010 01:20:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

Geez, Morroco, I don't even have any authority there! Everything I do, it's just Jeff giving me orders. "Suspend his account barracuda!" "Lock that thread, barracuda!" "Do this, do that!" I'm like a sock puppet without the puppet - just a hand up my ass, while everyone looks at me through narrowed eyes. Which happens to be very, very much like my personal life.

And Julian, I was browbeating and being browbeaten long before there was an internet, and I shall attempt to continue as long as there is breath in my body and a brow to beat upon! But hey, I'm not a mod at the moment, so tell me how you really feel. So if I've offended you in some way, or somehow blocked your agency of self-expression in my capacity as a tool of the system, take this as my abject apology, and an opprtunity to vent. Get it out of your system! Let it pour out of you onto my username. In response, I promise to only tell you that I love you.

I love you. Now complete me, you fool.

9/11/2010 01:33:00 PM  
Anonymous sunnynala said...

Strange days like this make it hard to fight the creeping paranoia. Today, September 11th, my True Blood blog, which contains a lot of information on and links to gov't mind control and propaganda, has been keyword hijacked (I am not kidding) and now RI is down. Jeff, perhaps now would be a good time for you could write a little something? I know I'm asking a lot but maybe? Pretty please?

9/11/2010 01:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the craziest party that could ever be.

9/11/2010 02:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sunnynala, I'm paranoid too. Hard not to be, especially considering today's the anniversary of The Big Lie.

LATOC's forum has been under attack lately as well (or not, depending on what you believe), but they did create a back-up forum -- actually, a couple of them. One was at activeboard.com and the other at proboards.com -- perhaps one of those would be an option until this gets fixed. Just a thought....

Cheers all,

ninakat

9/11/2010 02:21:00 PM  
Anonymous beritar said...

guppy, please step down from your meaningless post as moderator. do not needlessly feed the system with yet more iterations of totalitarian control. it is incumbent upon you, if you do indeed love, to resist, deprive and engage in non-cooperation every chance you get. refuse to be used. be your own man. don't be jeff's bitch. this is not a dream.

9/11/2010 03:46:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

Thanks for the kind words and salient advise, beritar. Truer words have been almost rarely typed! But I've always felt that the purest form of aquiescence happens upon "giving something you don't have to someone who doesn't want it". Amongst the clams this has been known for ages, those selflessly selfish shellfish. I'm a giver.

Love is not about refusal, or resistance, deprivation and non-cooperation. It's about yielding, baby. And at the moment, I give up and give in to the role I'm playing in my meaningless post as a person. I can't step down from that.

But as you have envisioned me as a a cog in the totalitarian machine, I can try to work outside of that box for the nonce and grant you anything you wish, so long as it is within my lack of power and fits within this comment box. Tell me what you need.

9/11/2010 04:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Spern said...

Ah, there we have it. Excuse the tautology, but the minnow is what he is. Of course, we knew that, we just wanted to hear him say it.

9/11/2010 04:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey sock-puppet-herd, at least he's not hiding behind fake names to uselessly attempt to push other peoples buttons. fail

9/11/2010 05:37:00 PM  
Anonymous mullyz said...

so barracuda's his legal name?

cool!!

hey barracuda, will you call me "sweetie" like creamsinhisdreams, please? your way is so much more sexy. i think it's the accent.

i'm proud of you for being brave barracuda and not using a fake name. fake names are so cowardly.

what kind of mother and father name their kid anonymous, while we're at it?

feel the love. it's in the air. embracing me. embracing us. like a blanket of razor blades infected with ebola virus.

9/11/2010 05:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Simulist said...

Best wishes to Jeff, Barracuda, Peregrine, and the whole RI Community: the most open-minded and insightful forum on the internet.

9/11/2010 06:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Impurni said...

I simulate what Simulist said. And, Happy 911 to all you insightful, open-minded loving people.

9/11/2010 06:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jeff, you piss me off often. You've banned me twice, as Floyd Smoots and Alexander the Great. Because of your aversity to controlled demolition and chemtrails, I too, often think you a possible "tool" of The Man. OTH, you may just be you, a poor, but honest Canalien with a blog. That said, I truly AM sorry that your site is down. Just because I've been gagged, I haven't been blinded (by your light, or anyone else's). I still regularly read what others have to say on matters of import. Hope you're back up soon.
........Alexander M.

9/11/2010 06:50:00 PM  
Anonymous seemslikeadream said...

mullyz said...
so barracuda's his legal name?

cool!!

hey barracuda, will you call me "sweetie" like creamsinhisdreams, please?



odd that I have no recollection of calling you anything, Or perchance I know you by another name?

9/11/2010 06:51:00 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Alexander M, that's the nicest thing anyone I've ever banned has told me. Cheers.

And thanks all for everything (except for the abuse of Mr barracuda). I'm distraught by the break in service, but it's a devastating comfort to know I'm not alone.

This still looks to be a multiple day event. I'm learning more about the problem, and it appears an easy fix for those who knows what they're doing. Still searching to hire one of them.

9/11/2010 07:10:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9/11/2010 07:23:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

Jeff, you should know I don't consider this to be abuse in any form. I feel more popular now than I did when I was Homecoming Queen. Gee! It's like I have a legion of fans the likes of which I had no previous knowledge. I shall call them my "Little Cephlapods", and love them in my heart.

Spern, your support is heartening, but I think it's spelt with an "m" not an "n". Who's got your back?

And mullys - of course nothing would please me more than to call you "sweetie". Let me go further and insist that you are the sweetest sweetness that ever sweetened a bowl of sweets in the whole sweet chaos of hard candy creation, sweetheart. Come here and let me lick you.

9/11/2010 07:25:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey,Grecrof and chadie and spern.

Fuck you.

I've always wondered why all the loon bins seemed to only post comments on the blog and not on the board.

Also, fuck the fuck off.

Now go come up with some awesome comebacks to, like I said, fuck you and fuck the fuck off. It should be hilarious. We're all waiting. I bet I'll get made fun of!

To the good people, indeed, good luck to all. Good luck to Jeff. Hope to see all your words soon!

Again, fuck you you pieces of shit.

82_28

9/11/2010 08:23:00 PM  
Anonymous jules said...

82 you are, as always (well sometimes), eloquent and insightful.

I heartily support your words.

Morrisey may suck but you certainly don't.

9/11/2010 08:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

one thing's for sure, NO ONE COULD HAVE FORESEEN THIS HAPPENING ;)

yet I foresee things returning to what passes for normal in the not too distant future any day now real soon.

9/11/2010 09:44:00 PM  
Anonymous family jewels said...

odd that I have no recollection of calling you anything

It's often difficult to remember all of the details of dreams. Don't beat yourself up over it. Julian needs you. Stay strong.

9/11/2010 10:48:00 PM  
Anonymous fucked the fuck off said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G0sOA6hTg0&feature=related

9/11/2010 10:56:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Paypal?

Agreed. Vbulletin is yer friend.

Now's the time.

9/12/2010 12:05:00 AM  
Blogger Mutant Chainsaw said...

Carlos Cruz will release 'names that were not investigated':

Carlos Cruz says he will disclose names of Casa Pia case that were never investigated. In an interview to the 'I', published this Saturday, the former television presenter said that, whatever the court's decision, which should be known next Friday, will unveil on its website the names of people who have never been investigated.

Begins by saying that the arrest of Carlos Silvino "scared many people", "prominent people of Portuguese society, in various quarters that would be, will have been clients, students abusers Casa Pia '.

Cruz says it has served to distract attention for powerful people who were the true abusers and says the process was "purposefully directed" to the upper structures of the PS. "There are other names mentioned in the proceedings, which are not the PS, which has never been heard or investigated. This will appear very soon on my site, those names will appear, "he said.

9/12/2010 12:28:00 AM  
Anonymous seemslikeadream said...

The Stream of Wikileaks
The multimedia stream of all things Wikileaks.
Working on a small FAQ for the Afghan War Diaries. Any serious questions are welcomed.


(OO)

9/12/2010 02:47:00 AM  
Blogger Ben D. said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9/12/2010 03:24:00 AM  
Blogger Ben D. said...

Unless, of course, it is due to Global Warming, then there will be no sympathy from you since you vehemently eschew such bizarre notions.

Haha...one never knows Close, be very very scared!!

A complete list of things caused by Global Warming
.

9/12/2010 05:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"THE WORM TURNS"

--XATURING

9/12/2010 07:04:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tell Maggie & the Moos I sez Hi!

9/12/2010 07:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BLUEHOST GHOST POST TOAST

--Delgado

9/12/2010 07:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

THE FUN "GUS" AMONGST US A


-Failoppio

9/12/2010 08:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

vBulletin is the way to go! members can even get their own blogs! It would be super cool, and super fun...or perhaps just cool and fun. :)

matrixdutch

9/12/2010 09:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Redner said...

Floyd Smoots, thank you for your service to empire. Thank you for killing yellow people because they had a hand up your ass telling you to kill. Thank you for yielding and coming back for more. Thank you for keeping the faith in your violent god. Thank you for being thankful for your bitch slapping. Thank you for soliciting more bitch slapping. Thank you for being you, whatever that is.

God's gift...His violence...God loves violence...Why else would there be so much of it? It's in us. It comes out of us. It is what we do more naturally than we breathe. We wage war. We burn sacrifices. We pillage and tear at the flesh of our brothers. We fill great fields with our stinking dead. And why? To show Him that we've learned from His example...God gives us earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes. He gives us mountains that spew fire onto our heads. Oceans that swallow ships. He gives us nature, and nature is a smiling killer. He gives us disease so that in our death we believe He gave us orifices only so that we could feel our life bleed out of them. He gave us lust and fury and greed and our filthy hearts. So that we could wage violence in His honor. There is no moral order as pure as this storm we've just seen. There is no moral order at all. There is only this - can my violence conquer yours.

9/12/2010 12:03:00 PM  
Anonymous stefano said...

Ah, it only occurred to me now to check here. Alas, the Blog Comments are merely a Simulacrum of the larger Forum that spawned them.

Good luck, chat in the week, I hope.

9/12/2010 12:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm going through some terrible withdrawl symptoms, I'll have you know... :)

But here's a chance to give a big Thank You to all the RI folks; you help to make RI the most interesting place on the 'net. Thanks!

--NeonLX

9/12/2010 12:10:00 PM  
Anonymous the man in the bar said...

that's the fightin spirit 80 something or other. that's what we were looking for out of you that memorable day not too long ago. instead, you allowed yourself to be bitch slapped and walked home with your tale between your legs. it looks like you're learning, young man, now you need to do it outside of cyberspace before cyberspace is all there is. we will arrange something. you'll know it when you see it. you need to recognize it sooner next time and be prepared to act.

9/12/2010 12:10:00 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Hopefully good news: I've found an experienced and reliable techie who understands the problem and should be able to help us some time today. (Though he also says "i suspect that getting access to your site will take longer than solving the problem." So, there's that. Because I always must accentuate the negative.)

I'll keep you posted.

9/12/2010 12:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Redner, you're about the Dumbest Fuck to post on this WHOLE PAGE!

Jeff, thanks for the compliment.

........Floyd Smoots

9/12/2010 12:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Barracuda said...

Maybe we can help.

9/12/2010 01:25:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

Username hijacking - how very nefarious. Only I can provide you with 94% of all barracuda-based content on this thread. Accept no substitiutes.

9/12/2010 01:50:00 PM  
Anonymous A Radar Cub said...

Usernames - how very nefarious.

9/12/2010 02:05:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Usernames?

How about Et in Arcadia Ego? For instance.

What's wrong with this picture?

9/12/2010 03:02:00 PM  
Anonymous 17breezes said...

Cuda, you break me up! Take care.

9/12/2010 03:15:00 PM  
Anonymous careofbuddha said...

please be more conscious of what you post mr. floyd smut. your words are triggering. you need to consider that there are mind-controlled and ritually abused victims amongst us. what would jesus do? always remember that when you post mr. smut. what would jesus do?

9/12/2010 03:16:00 PM  
Anonymous seemslikeadream said...

Harsh words are spoken, promises are broken, old wounds are opened

walking out that door

Talk....(*_*)
.... talk....(*_*)
............. talk it over(*_*)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiQofU5nvVM


can we talk it over?

9/12/2010 03:21:00 PM  
Anonymous V. Cinco said...

BLUEHOST GHOST POST TOAST BOAST

Et in Arcadia who?

9/12/2010 03:22:00 PM  
Anonymous KEYWORD said...

Yo--hijack this, muthafukah!

9/12/2010 03:32:00 PM  
Anonymous 17zionazis said...

Cuda, you break me up! Take care.

How about you consider that when doling out the year-end bonus money.

By the way, barracuda, since you're so into yielding and that whole thing, if you have a few hours after dinner I would appreciate it if you head on over here and mo the lawn, walk the god, clean the dishes, dust the blinds and tongue-lick my ass clean after I take a dump. And when you're finished with that you can get your father a toasted almond bar and yourself a vanilla cone. You deserve it.

9/12/2010 03:48:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

C'mon, 17zionazis, not even Christ himself can do your little household chores for you. Nor should he! It would deprive you of a learning experience of which you are clearly in need. You know - "give a man a fish and he eats for a day, but teach him HOW to fish, etc".

In return for this brief lesson in humility, though, I will accept the cone.

9/12/2010 04:04:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"careofbuddha said...

please be more conscious of what you post mr. floyd smut. your words are triggering. you need to consider that there are mind-controlled and ritually abused victims amongst us. what would jesus do? always remember that when you post mr. smut. what would jesus do?"

Since no one going by the name you've written has posted ANYTHING on this page, your question cannot be answered. But I'll tell you what "The Artist Formerly Known as Mad Mutt" would say. He would say, "KISS my ASS, you Fukkin' New Age Faggot!!!" That's what he'd say!

9/12/2010 04:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Kolenya said...

Come now, barrabitcha, that's a rather inefficient and convoluted way of saying you are obsequiously doing for Jeff what 17zionazis asked you to for it.

In Miwok, barracuda means "one who often yields."

9/12/2010 04:21:00 PM  
Anonymous loaves and fishes said...

You know - "give a man a fish and he eats for a day, but teach him HOW to fish, etc".

Wonderful. You've answered for me, with your own words, or your quoting of some fictional character's words. The question is what, though? Can you guess? Of course you can't. You're bright, but not that bright. The question is why do sheep need shepherds, or, skipping the analogies, why do "users" need moderators?

Now don't be a hypocrite.Practice what you preach. Don't treat them like sheep, and maybe they won't act like sheep. Treat them like the reflective sentient beings they are, teach them to fish, and let them fish freely. They don't need your protection, or Jeff's protection. There's nothing to protect except dishonesty. Drop the moderation, and more specifically for you, refuse to partake in moderation. Let them fish freely.

9/12/2010 04:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Alexander the Senile Impotent said...

KISS my ASS, you Fukkin' New Age Faggot!!!

Yikes!! Mr. Floyd Smut, you are worthy of your name, may I say.

Would that make jesus an "Old Age Faggot?"


Was Jesus Gay?


.

9/12/2010 04:48:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

Come, come now, Kolenya, I happen to speak fluent Miwuk, and I assure you that you are quite mistaken on that account. However, if you wish to spend the rest of your life looking uniformed before any native speakers, I can but bid you joy on your path to where ever it may lead you. Take something for that cough, btw - I recommend Strunk & White's Famous Purgatives For Children.

Besides that trifle, Jeff resides in Toronto and I in California, so the tasks set by the beloved username 17zionazis would be most inefficiently performed in such a manner due to the vast geographical discrepancy at hand. The best I can offer is moral support in this regard.

Loaves & fishies, despite your tortured sense of analogy and metaphor, I may have discerned a glimmer of what it is you're trying to convey. It should be quite obvious now, in light of recent events, that it is well within the power of any individual to destroy the venue in which we all participate through an act of ill will. This has always been the case, though you may not have recognized it until this very moment. Nonetheless, I thank you for your recommendations, and will take them under advisement.

It may also surprise you to realize that although my actions as a moderator have placed me into a position vis-a-vis you which resembles nothing so much as your defiance of a fourth grade hall monitor, it is a lightweight cross, and I bear it gladly. The forum can only reflect the acts and intentions of its users and readers. May you find peace in your wanderings.

9/12/2010 04:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

' Yikes!! Mr. Floyd Smut, you are worthy of your name, may I say.

Would that make jesus an "Old Age Faggot?" '

Why don't you ask HIM when you unexpectedly meet HIM, Troll? I'm sure HE won't mind your unbelief - no, not at all.

just another "X-ian"

9/12/2010 05:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jeff - I've been following this for a day or two. Any possibility of me getting info' on the total size of your database? And if your problem is a database glitch, I'd like to know what it was; specifically, in which table it occured. I'll pm you about this, once RI is back up.

Best to all Riggies, old and new.

slow_dazzle

9/12/2010 05:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fyi - phpBB has performance issues when scaling to a site with as many old posts as this one, primarily due to it's native search implementation... On a shared hosting solution (which is way cheaper than alternatives) drawing too much computing 'juice' for too long results in the host declaring a problem and suspending the site. I'd guess that's what happened here based on the message bluehost is giving. The good news is the DBs aren't exactly damaged, but they can be optimized and some other changes made to reduce the problem. Probably that's what'll happen and the site will be back soon. No hacking, no DoS plots, just bad luck on a day that lead to an excess of traffic, which exacerbated the existing performance issues.

9/12/2010 05:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

could the drama teens infesting this village of the banned stick a sock in it please?

9/12/2010 05:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Kris said...

could the drama teens infesting this village of the banned stick a sock in it please?

the irony, i tell you, the irony. what would you call the green zone forum if not another village of the banned? you losers who belong and post to the forum are nothing more than outcasts of society at large, yet you have to nerve to create some delusional hierarchy within an overall village of outcasts? it's called conditioning, moron, and your statement is the epitome of it.

9/12/2010 05:42:00 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

"The good news is the DBs aren't exactly damaged, but they can be optimized and some other changes made to reduce the problem. Probably that's what'll happen and the site will be back soon. No hacking, no DoS plots, just bad luck on a day that lead to an excess of traffic, which exacerbated the existing performance issues."

That sounds like it.

First thing is getting back up. Next thing is examining options to prevent this happening again.

9/12/2010 05:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Alex Trebel said...

This reminds me of the RI forum and its current technical issues. Rick Moranis is likened to all the people offering to fix the technicalities. Barracuda is John McGinness. People are laughing at you fools, do you know that?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0s8qwG0tkU4&feature=related

9/12/2010 05:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"It should be quite obvious now, in light of recent events, that it is well within the power of any individual to destroy the venue in which we all participate through an act of ill will."

Pure comedy gold!

It appears to me that the bullies, sycophants and pit bulls of RI--with their pogroms and purges, and the unexplained "disappearances" of contributors--are doing a fine job destroying the forum all by themselves.

9/12/2010 05:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alex Trebel, Too Frakkin' Funny!

Admiral Adama,
CBS Galactica

9/12/2010 06:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Myself?

I miss the frothy incoherent blithering of c2w...

Maybe today?

9/12/2010 06:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To Hemi-Cuda, I believe the "saw" for which you were reaching was:
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day."

Mrs. Paul

9/12/2010 06:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the man in the bar said...

that's the fightin spirit 80 something or other. that's what we were looking for out of you that memorable day not too long ago. instead, you allowed yourself to be bitch slapped and walked home with your tale between your legs. it looks like you're learning, young man, now you need to do it outside of cyberspace before cyberspace is all there is. we will arrange something. you'll know it when you see it. you need to recognize it sooner next time and be prepared to act.


Hardee har har. Good one, but I got you covered.

The tale between my legs isn't all that exciting. Ever heard of a male yeast infection? Well I've had one. Look for it in chapter eight. It's riveting. Chapter one is about me grinding my pillow for reasons I didn't know at the age of 5. Chapter three is an exciting story about how I lost my virginity with about 15 seconds of effort at the age of 20. The prologue is about how my girlfriend is pissed at me right now because the NFL decided to start playing today.

Oh yeah, fuck you you coward fascists.

*80 whatever*

9/12/2010 06:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kris said...

the irony, i tell you, the irony. ... you losers who belong and post to the forum are nothing more than outcasts of society at large, yet you have to nerve to create some delusional hierarchy within an overall village of outcasts? it's called conditioning, moron, and your statement is the epitome of it.
9/12/2010 05:42:00 PM


and yet you keep paying attention. and paying dearly. the irony... the irony... indeed. everybody's a ham-fisted half-wit social critic these days. thanks for your trenchant and insightful analysis. Speaking of payig dearly, what kinda moolah does a anarchofabulist bullshit-artist make these days?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cE1fzfOogo

9/12/2010 06:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

THIS IS "WHY" WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!!!

/b/tard

9/12/2010 06:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it looks like you're learning, young man, now you need to do it outside of cyberspace before cyberspace is all there is. we will arrange something.

Oh and also, condescending POS, I do most of my posting on RI "outside" in the garden where I can be assassinated for having a fucking limp dick and backbone to go with it. I'm surrounded by pussy -- you might like that. Unfortunately, they're just cats though. You fucks think you have it all figured out, don't you? You don't. It's fucking time to start being nicer. Your agitprop and trolling doesn't work here. Try all you want, emulate a real thinking human all you want, but we'll weed you out. Easiest fucking thing in the world is to detect a disingenuous asshole. It's a bit harder to emulate real feelings, the feelings that the good rig-inters come to RI for.

I will say commenting in profanity without moderation has been fun though.

82_28

9/12/2010 06:56:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^^ Sure, the trolls, fake victims, and neurotic hangers on have nothing to do with it. They're all innocent.

9/12/2010 06:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I" didn't do SHIT!

'constipated'

9/12/2010 07:02:00 PM  
Blogger Kevin John said...

Jeff, I have friends that are highly computer literate. I would be glad to assist you anyway I can, as many here would also.Glad you are back ..sort of.
Good Luck.

9/12/2010 07:10:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

Alex Trebel, people aren't laughing at us, they're laughing next to us. But thanks for the much needed injection of an analogous laff-riot Canadian spoof deftly overlayed upon the perils of the current edge-of-our-seat RI predicament. Biting, sir, biting. Now, if you'll kindly loosen the deathly grip of your somewhat moldy yet satirically oriented incisors, I'd like my coat back. Bless you.

Anonymous @ 05:55:00 PM sez:
"Pure comedy gold!

It appears to me that the bullies, sycophants and pit bulls of RI--with their pogroms and purges, and the unexplained "disappearances" of contributors--are doing a fine job destroying the forum all by themselves."


Firstly, let me congratulate you upon being the first in this comments section to use the phrase "pure comedy gold". That was the secret word, and you've won $25. Don't spend all your karma in one place.

Secondly, I can only assume you are referring to the poster known as "vigilant" who has been banned under about seven usernames since I became a mod for his/her dastardly wish to wipe Israel off the map, or finally put an end to ZOG in America, or whatever his latest Lex Luthorian plotline happened to be. I'll take "tweaking anti-semites" for two hundred, Alex!

Anyways, quit cryin' like a little poopy-pants. Really - how hard is it to register through a proxy and get back on the board to continue the hijinx?? Do you need me to handhold you through the process? Again? It's really not within the mod job description, but I mean, what are friends for? We aim to serve and please, so please check the new Trolling FAQ once the board is back up and running.

9/12/2010 07:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, Barracuda.

Nope, actually I was referring to the apparent banning of Cordelia and Delta Dawn, and Jeff's shutting down of filedactivity's thread pointing out their banishment.

The board is Jeff's to run however he wishes, but the last year has been a huge disappointment to this former true believer. Purges and disappearances are more fascist than I'm sure you'd like to admit.

And I doubt I'm alone in this assessment.

9/12/2010 08:22:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

Anon, fyi, Cordelia, Delta Dawn and filedactivity all quit of their own free will on the same day about a month or so ago.

9/12/2010 08:26:00 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Actually, Cordelia and Delta Dawn are not banned. They're not even suspended.

I locked filedactivity's thread because it was a call out of a member and an invitation to a shit disturbance.

9/12/2010 08:27:00 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

FWIW, in the hands now of the tech. He has more than 20 years experience as a database administrator, developer and systems analyst. Which is, I'm not ashamed to say, more than I can say for myself.

9/12/2010 08:33:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sepka the Space Weasel here. I'm far from an expert in SQL, but I've worked with it before. The userbase and posting rate for RI really isn't so big that you should be seeing performance issues. If you're using just the queries that came with phpBB (i.e., if you didn't write new ones or modify the ones you've got) then it's almost certainly the routine that lets you search old posts for text that's causing the problem. Disabling that would be a quick fix, although of course not a permanent one, as that leaves the search function crippled.

The permanent answer lies in more efficiently indexing the table of words, possibly in making a key index of words, then adding a field to further index them by post # under the key index. This should greatly speed up searchs, unless there's a word in that search that hasn't been used before. Even then, it'll help. I know enough about SQL as a server admin to understand what probably needs to happen, but not enough to implement it safely.

And quit being dicks to Barracuda, people. He's doing his best, and moderating a board of paranoid, twitchy conspiracy theorists isn't easy at the best of times.

--
- Sepka the Space Weasel

9/12/2010 08:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I appreciate the clarification, Jeff.

But:

"I locked filedactivity's thread because it was a call out of a member and an invitation to a shit disturbance."

Then what exactly was the UR DOIN' IT WRONG thread?

9/12/2010 08:55:00 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

An unholy mess. But it was a crazy time. I believe The Tooth Fairy received a theatrical release that month.

9/12/2010 09:01:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

Anon, the UR DOIN' IT WRONG thread was a generalized call-out of unnamed trolls and sock-puppets who were attempting to implement a plan for a disruption of the board on a pre-determined schedule which was perceived by c2w's able eye. And although her good-faith full body block was not completely successful (as the perps still managed to publicly disparage and stalk certain board members through other websites - something you might not know unless you were one of the stalked members, for reasons which are obvious), it took enough of an edge off their plot to render them impotent in many regards. What they were doing what wrong, and stupid, and evil, and they got bitch-slapped for it.

That's how I saw it, anyway.

9/12/2010 09:10:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

And thanks, Sepka, for your kindly words, you weasel, you.

9/12/2010 09:12:00 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

"That's how I saw it, anyway."

Cosigning that. Intention is nine-tenths of the RI law as far as I'm concerned.

9/12/2010 09:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or have there been multiple comments insinuating that people who post at a certain other website had something to do with this?

9/12/2010 09:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Tina Delgado said...

re: "Ur Doing it Wrong"

Thank you Maggie...

Thank you Moos! :-)

9/12/2010 09:28:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9/12/2010 09:52:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

Tina, you're too modest! Thank YOU for all the joyous moments of gaiety and camaraderie you've graced us with through the years. Ah, the memories!

9/12/2010 09:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

C2W's UR DOIN' IT WRONG thread was a pyrrhic victory.

That's how I see it, anyways.

9/12/2010 10:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Tina Delgado said...

re: barracuda

Not at all Mr. cuda! The pleasure was all mine...

9/12/2010 10:15:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

That's fer sure.

9/12/2010 10:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love you too barracuda!

9/12/2010 11:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is still c2w:

Incidentally, if anyone cares about that Lina Morgana/Lady GaGa thing:

I'm not so sure that's on the real. Or that it's not on the real, either. But fwiw, one or maybe two trolls and their socks started methodically pimping that story on a board called mydeathspace eight or so months before it broke last week.

And there's really no question that's what they're doing. So either someone decided to exploit a real death for lulz on teh internet, or the whole thing is for suckas from start to finish.

Also: I don't know which and don't see that there could conceivably be any appeal in trying to figure it out.

But fwiw, if it was entirely hoaxed from start to finish, the first two things that would catch my eye are:

(1) The only apparently legitimate third-party confirmation I can find any sign of that would strongly lead me to believe that two people named "Lina Morgana" and "Yana Morgana" were anything more than a Fata Morgana is a video pitch for a reality show produced by Jarrett Creative Group, presently available on MySpace; and

(2) The only apparently legitimate third-party confirmation in a non-online venue of the young woman's death is (reputedly) a placard at the end of an episode of Celebrity Ghost Stories in which she played Gina Gershon. Which was also produced by Jarrett Creative Group.

Seth Jarrett and Julia Insogno Jarrett of Jarrett Creative Group would therefore probably be the first focus of my inquiries, if I were going to make any. Which I'm not.

I've been absolutely dying to say that, btw. I was about to post a more detailed version of it when the site went down.

So thanks for probably not reading!

9/13/2010 04:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey!

What happened to my first comment, in which I ate shit for my epic fail?

As I totally deserve to do?

c2w

9/13/2010 04:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Still c2w again:

Oh, well. As Madonna so succinctly puts it, life is a mystery.

But fwiw, I really did write a comment eating shit for my epic fail. And I have no idea at all how I failed to post it, exactly.

However, since the tenor of the conversation has now turned -- and also because I then mistakenly went ahead and was really boring at length while under the impression that I'd already been sincerely and slightly more concisely remorseful first, I'm just going to let it go for now.

Unless anyone actually wants or needs urgently to be even more bored by me than they already are right now, I guess.

So if that's the case, just holla.

9/13/2010 04:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Tina Delgado said...

barracuda 9/12/2010 09:10: PM:

"What they were dong what wrong, (sic) and stupid, and evil, and they got bitch-slapped for it.

Indeed.

Twas' such a harsh comeuppance!

I mean, it really hurt. When you've been bitch-slapped by barracuda, you've been bitch-slapped by the best--bar none, well maybe Jesus--but I can barely tell the two of them apart these days...

more 'cuda:

"...it took enough of an edge off their plot to render them impotent in many regards."

Damn right there pal.

Just the other night at Club Ripples, I was puttin' the moves on this lil' bitch at the bar lyin' about her age suckin' on icecubes and squirming on her barstool so nasty...I could feel my ponderous pepperoni throbbing against the starter gates ready for the plunge, and then I thought back to that fateful "Ur doing it wrong" thread, and the traumatic bitch-slapping from the 'cuda, and suddenly the launch was cancelled--all systems fail--Elvis has left the building, rendered impotent by the toothy fish...

Drat you barracuda!

So that certainly taught me the error of my ways, and the inflexible resolve to never participate in any forum disruptions ever again! (LOL)

Perhaps you would care to discuss it with some of my uh, "subordinates" when you get your little site back up (so to speak)

9/13/2010 04:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He didn't do any bitchslapping.

What happened was that I, c2w, fucked up. Because I am sometimes more of a weak-minded weak-ass loser than I know.

But I'm very glad to hear that someone wasn't at all hurt by it.

Thanks!

9/13/2010 05:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Tina Delgado said...

Uh, No problemo Co2.

I mean, it didn't hurt me at all, In fact it was almost entertaining, in a macabre way, with a similar aesthetic value as oh, say a piranha tank or a Stalinist show-trial.

Some board members were kind of cheesed about it if memory serves, but I wouldn't pay too much attention to them, probably just a bunch of sockpuppets anyhoo.

By the way, anybody ever find a trace of any kind of ARG like I was hearing about? For a project of that nature to be so scary & disruptive & worthy of such convoluted paranoia, I should think that there would be like, you know, a chain of fake websites or an indication on Unforum or something, or SOME kind of trace. Anything?

Just. Wondering.

9/13/2010 05:51:00 AM  
Blogger Stephen Morgan said...

I always like it when C2W posts: I never know quite what she's on about, but she's always very civil about it all.

Mowing of lawns, however, I disapprove of. Interrupts the natural life cycle of the plants and the insects which feed upon them. Also makes your lawn look like you are a Tory. Of course could be more productive growing vegetables.

Anyone know the Royal Mail's prices for international postage?

-- Stephen Morgan

9/13/2010 06:41:00 AM  
Anonymous Maggie said...

Moo!

9/13/2010 07:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pass the popcorn.

This is more fun than the forum.

9/13/2010 07:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

c2w, you kinda creep me out, tbh.

9/13/2010 07:49:00 AM  
Anonymous Geoff said...

Mowing of lawns

Stevie, I believe the word used was mo, not mow. There is a difference, for your information. I know you try to be hip in your aging years, but you really are out of your element. Stick to your cabin in the woods with a harem of women servants doing your bidding. Actually, I think you and c17w would make a great match. Two self-absorbed, bloviating (hat tip to bill) windbags drowning each other out day in and day out. It would be quite a site. An oatmeal (plane, no sugar, milk or any other additions) version of Lucy and Desi. We wouldn't laugh at you, just along side you, because that's what we do, you know.

9/13/2010 08:29:00 AM  
Anonymous Daniel's Slop Sucker said...

I only like the porn where the females really seem to be enjoying themselves. What kind do you like, Stevie?

9/13/2010 08:34:00 AM  
Anonymous My Big Fat Greek Yeast Infection said...

Come on, that last comment you deleted wasn't all that naughty. So what if it had the word sex in it. Drop the prudish act. We all know better.

9/13/2010 08:38:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I" STILL didn't do SHIT!

'reconstipated'

9/13/2010 08:53:00 AM  
Anonymous take another millegan said...

This is more fun than the forum.

let's face it, the forum is fucking boring as shit. admit it. it is.

they (i don't know who they is, but apparently there is a they) say things happen for a reason. maybe these technical difficulties are for a reason. the forum, like civilization, has collapsed and we just don't know it yet. there's a lag between the implosion and sound and shock wave. it was time.

it's no coincidence that the one who often yields took the vanilla cone. the forum was an incongruent mixture of norman rockwell and woo. that should tell you something. high weirdness with a spoonful of sugar. a troop of mary poppins to keep the frightened kiddies in line.

9/13/2010 08:54:00 AM  
Blogger barracuda said...

Tina, as I recall, indeed there were a smallish slew of fake websites surrounding the affair, such as Underwire777, KidBalogna (it's only funny if you pronounce the "g" and the "n"), and wotevah Et's blog was called, along with the usual boring suspects, all of it surrounding something cryptically referred to as "Teh Last Crap-Shoot" or some such yawnage. I never really looked into the details, because who has the time?, really, but I recall saying a rosary for you all, and wishing you nothing but the best of luck with your projects, past and future. Endeavor to perservere!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=balogna

word verification = conspi

9/13/2010 10:54:00 AM  
Blogger ericswan said...

Who are you people?

9/13/2010 11:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgyZCgw6kdw&feature=related

9/13/2010 11:38:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mockery is often the result of a poverty of wit.

9/13/2010 11:47:00 AM  
Anonymous seemslikeadream said...

we are family

a party where stuff gets broken

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7g3FoMaGF0&feature=fvst

9/13/2010 11:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At the very least this haphazard comment thread has become a total comedy skit. It literally must be saved and transcribed into a script that we can run by the good people who do that NPR show "Wait, wait. Don't tell me."

I think all of us have a very bright future. And, you know what? We did it together. An awe inspiring specimen of the human spirit, coming together for all and to entertain. I especially like the assholes. What would this script be without their essential love interest plot device?

Hey greek guy, read chapter 8. I'm tellin' ya. You wanna see prude? I know you think it's funny to make fun of someone else's hardships, and I'm good with that. Good on ya. What the most glaring aspect to your schtick is, is that you can't for one second it seems, understand that the Internet isn't the real world and must continually impute how you consciously and subconsciously view it onto others you know nothing about. Some happen to use this here Internet not for the sole purpose of being a too clever by half douchebag. We also use it to inform, be informed and to just generally be nice in conversational tones. It really isn't that hard.

Oh, that's the title of chapter 10. You really must read it.

82_28

9/13/2010 11:49:00 AM  
Anonymous Kevin McCarthy said...

Damn, ericswan, don't you recognize a home invasion when you see one? Now hand over the family silver.

9/13/2010 11:56:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WTF???

http://www.kens5.com/news/Stalked-drugged-and-raped-Is-it-happening-in-San-Antonio.html

9/13/2010 12:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Tina Delgado said...

barracuda, old sport, while the sites that you mentioned in your quaintly distorted way, do exist, you seem to come up short in proving any kind of ARG or other valid excuse for this hi-fiving gladhanding high IQ club to comport themselves with all the dignity of quantum cannibals at the Donner Party.

You "never really looked into the details, because who has the time?"

In other words, the report was on your desk, but you didn't bother to read it? Gotcha.

Such is the stuff of great destinies...

Happy post 9/11!

9/13/2010 01:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Putin Jokes About Ruling Until He's 120

13 September 2010

Prime Minister Vladimir Putin joked during a meeting with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi that they could hang on to their jobs until they are 120 years old.

Berlusconi visited Putin at his Novo-Ogaryovo residence west of Moscow on Friday after attending a Kremlin-backed forum in Yaroslavl.

Berlusconi said he planned to finance an institute that would research ways of extending the average lifetime to 120 years.

"So we will be prime ministers until at least the age of 120?" Putin replied, RIA-Novosti reported.

Berlusconi, 73, said this was unlikely because prime ministers work hard and “often get tired.”

“You won’t believe it. I haven’t had a single day of holiday this year,” he said, adding that Putin, 57, also has had “no time for leisure” in recent weeks.

Last month, Putin was at the forefront of a government effort to douse rampant wildfires — and public anger over the fires. In addition to helping dump water on wildfires from the pilot's seat of an airplane, Putin went on a tour of the Far East that saw him shoot whales with a crossbow, examine mammoth bones and drive a yellow Lada car down the new Chita-Khabarovsk highway.

Putin told Berlusconi that the two should get together for a short vacation.

http://www.themoscowtimes.com/news/article/putin-jokes-about-ruling-until-hes-120/415629.html

9/13/2010 02:22:00 PM  
Anonymous thelaststatue said...

OY!

9/13/2010 02:34:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

Tina, my dear lady, as much as I appreciate that you've taken this brief respite from your fascinating hobby of pseudo-gang-stalking the board members to engage over the morning coffee, I'm afraid you've misunderstood me. I've little interest in "proving any kind of ARG", even if it's occasionally fun to point out the sad intentions of some of the minor vampirish satellite sites surrounding our activities. Dullsville, kiddo.

Besides, my spare time is fully absorbed by the after-school psyops classes I'm taking at Professor Hugh's Home For Wayward Keywords. I never got the hang of multi-tasking. And whatever it is you're up to, take heart in the fact, fully admitted, that it's far too recondite, personal and hermetic for me to really get a handle on in any case. So, well played on that account!

I mean, crazy people just do what they do - there's little profit in attempting to ascertain motivations. Because they're crazy! So I find that it's better to just wish them well while remembering to check your rear view mirror for sharp objects which might be closer than they appear at first glances.

Best wishes.

9/13/2010 02:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, you don't need to prove anything, or feel obligated to provide evidence of your preposterous accusations. You just KNOW those weapons of mass destruction are there, and thats enough to unleash a mindless feeding frenzy revisionist purge pogram of your own ranks?

9/13/2010 02:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Septic the Zionist Sewage Weasel said...

I never got the hang of multi-tasking.

you're too busy ass licking, maybe that's why. for someone who perpetually whines he just doesn't have the time, you seem to have the time. one thing's for certain, jeff has a clean asshole, and you need a tongue scraper to remove all that excess detritus.

9/13/2010 02:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Let's Roll Over said...

I was washing the dishes this morning and felt compelled to turn around and look at the microwave clock. It was 9:11. That is so fucking freaky, isn't it? I had no reason to turn at that moment. Something compelled me to turn at that moment, when that particular clock registered 9:11. Sometimes a number is more than just a number.

9/13/2010 02:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Bob Teamer has a yeast infection said...

This is getting serious fellow rigorous forumers. We need the forum to get back up and running soon. We have a world, nay a universe, to save.

9/13/2010 03:12:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

Anonymous @ 02:44:00 PM sed:
So, you don't need to prove anything, or feel obligated to provide evidence of your preposterous accusations. You just KNOW those weapons of mass destruction are there, and thats enough to unleash a mindless feeding frenzy revisionist purge pogram of your own ranks?

I don't recall making any accusations, however with regards to the general thrust of your question above, I'd have to say, "Oh, hells yes."

Septic Wheeze, if you're fishing for tips on how to perfect your analingual technique, you might be barking up the wrong tree, to mix some metaphors. We don't know each other nearly well enough for that. So either an introduction is in order or a credit card number.

But because you've obviously put some real thought into this, and in order to at least allay your fantasy before some unsatisfying consummation occurs, here is a brief but valuable instruction video for your solo playtime activities:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWGn6_EH2gM

I promise you that with a bit of practice, your desired ends may reach achievement.

Don't say I never gave you anything.

9/13/2010 03:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Tina Delgado said...

So lemme get this straight 'cuda.

When challenged for evidence of this evil malevolent ARG thing or whatever, you buttress your accusations by claiming that board (bored) members are being gang stalked?

That's a very serious accusation to make.

Any proof of THAT?

Or are the rules different when you're not arguing with Hugh Manatee Wins?

Perhaps Jeff can quote an appropriate EIR article to back you up.

Please pass along my compliments to the Emperor on his new satorial attire. Sharp!

9/13/2010 03:43:00 PM  
Blogger Dalton said...

Norton Ash misses the board. But this blog thread is pretty funny.

9/13/2010 03:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Chew Bacco said...

We don't read the words of the one who often yields. His words are irrelevant at best, and disingenuous at worst. We do monitor his actions as a Judenrat and log his offenses to freedom of expression. The one who often yields is otherwise a dullard. No sense of wit or humor. It's no wonder he and c3po are such good friends. They can put themselves to sleep with their NPR-like diatribes about nothing.

9/13/2010 03:49:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

Tina. Sweetness. Light of my liver. I never said anything about there being an ARG. Re-read the thread if you must. Please - try and focus here. I realise that actual back-and-forth discussion such as this may be foreign to you, different that it is from your usual cryptic autolallia, but hopefully you'll get the hang of it.

Anyway, such that it is, it would be hard for me to buttress a claim that I haven't made with another that I have. Besides if we're going to discuss BUTTressing here, I have to assume you are in league with the analingual culprit, something I am loath to do, because it actually seems to me, at times, that you are of a certain interest, if only entomologically speaking.

And yes, at the moment, the rules are quite different. We are not on the forum, a place where you are not permitted to set foot undisguised. So the physical rules applicable there are not in effect. You and I may have this pleasant chat, and I may make the SERIOUS ACCUSATION (!) that you are a crazy person and a weird stalker, you convoluted agent of discord.

9/13/2010 04:05:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Any proof of THAT?

I don't think you're going to get 'cuda to post any links, but keep trying I guess, although the humor is running out a bit.

The rope is getting taught there crazy sister.

9/13/2010 04:05:00 PM  
Anonymous Cassian Skarssen said...

a place where you are not permitted to set foot undisguised

He still doesn't get it. I guess he never will. We gave him too much credit. The only way out is further in.

9/13/2010 04:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Tina Delgado said...

Although your collective hive memory bank is conveniently down at the moment, try with your soft-wired hopefully individualized bio-memory archive to think back to the 27 page "Ur doing it wrong" Thread of Doom, when Ms. R2D2/Chicken Little announced the impending End of the World due to the onset of "...a plan for a disruption of the board on a pre-determined schedule which was perceived by c2w's able eye" (LOL) in which the acronym "ARG" was used in a way that could only be compared to Godwin's Law's usage of Nazi analogies. Simply replace the word "ARG" or "troll" for "Nazis".

You know, the bitch-slapping n' stuff?

If you don't remember any of this, perhaps your dominatrix Co2 can fill you in. So to speak.

9/13/2010 04:44:00 PM  
Anonymous ronin said...

Tina - do you have your own forum, one that you run/manage/moderate/whatever? A blog perhaps, with your own articles?

9/13/2010 05:00:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

Well, T., whatever c2w may have said should not be confused with what I have said, unless you think it might be fair to equate your own ramblings with those of your coterie of like-minded terror cellish Sherlock Holmes wannabes and known associates. I don't know nothin' about no ARGs, frankly. It's just not my thing. However I do know teh crazy when I see it. As well as just mean-spirited trolling toward unfathomable and probably meaningless ends. I went to art school.

And - wait a minute - did you just LOL, Ms. Delgado?? Good on you. It's promising to see that you still can find humor in your situation, and not take all of this too seriously. Maybe there's some shred of humanity yet to surface in you. I hope so, I really do. You're kind of a fun girl, aside from the whole creepy stalker thingee.

I think I'm getting a bit of a crush here.

So yeah, Tina-weena, tell us all about your life as a blogger! Enough about us - we wanna hear all about YOU.

Good call, ronin!

9/13/2010 05:06:00 PM  
Anonymous cuper said...

Tina - do you have your own forum, one that you run/manage/moderate/whatever? A blog perhaps, with your own articles?

Does the one who often yields?

9/13/2010 05:09:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

.....AND NOW, BACK TO THE HUMOR?

The Zen of Sarcasm:

(1) Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

(2) It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

(3) Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

(4) Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

(5) Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

(6) If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

(7) Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

(8) If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

(9) Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

(10) If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

(11) If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

(12) Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

(13) Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

(14) The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

(15) A closed mouth gathers no foot.

(16) There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

(17) Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

(18) Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

(19) Never miss a good chance to shut up.

(20) Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

9/13/2010 05:15:00 PM  
Anonymous ronin said...

Does the one who often yields?

Cuper - your attempt at a redirect is duly noted. But I was asking Tina.

9/13/2010 05:24:00 PM  
Anonymous c2w said...

Hi there.

Uh, No problemo Co2.

I mean, it didn't hurt me at all, In fact it was almost entertaining, in a macabre way, with a similar aesthetic value as oh, say a piranha tank or a Stalinist show-trial.

Some board members were kind of cheesed about it if memory serves, but I wouldn't pay too much attention to them, probably just a bunch of sockpuppets anyhoo.



I don't see how it was like a Stalinist show trial, really. I mean, who was using what absolute dictatorial power in order to persecute people baselessly for getting in the way of what unadmitted self-serving agenda?

It was kind of like a pirhana tank, though. That wasn't the direction I'd intended to take at all, and I very much regret it that it did. But I was pretty much down for the count by the second page, truth be told. I couldn't keep up with Et at all. And I certainly wasn't expecting him to inexplicably and abruptly resolve the anguish and pain he'd been saying you caused him by dropping it and turning on me.

Not that I blame him or, for that matter, anybody besides myself. I was expecting to get the largely hostile response that I did in fact get, and had fooled myself into thinking I was prepared to handle it. And I wasn't.

Obviously, I've got nobody to blame for that but myself. So feel free to join in if it pleases you. Also: I'm very sorry for any damage inadvertently done to others due to my many failings. So anyone who feels that I owe them should also feel free to say so, publicly or via PM.

OK? Because I can't really humbly pay whatever unspecified penalties justice demands for having committed violations that I'm not even aware of all on my own. And it's not reasonable to expect me to. I myself only expected to pay the price that I did in fact end up paying in the way of general animosity, scorn and shunning by most of the community at large.

If there are any additional costs, some nice unsealed indictments would be very much appreciated therefore. Especially since I've always accepted blame and responsibility in a general way and still do.

So what exactly is your problem with me, if any?

Thanks,

c2w

9/13/2010 05:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We now continue with our regularly scheduled programming after that brief commercial message.

9/13/2010 05:50:00 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Comments are going to be moderated for the duration of our confinement in these close quarters.

9/13/2010 05:56:00 PM  
Anonymous Croam Pun said...

Cuper - your attempt at a redirect is duly noted. But I was asking Tina.

There is no Tina. Only words on a screen. There's no redirection or direction, for that matter. Direction is faulty Western thinking. You really must get past it to understand what's going on here.

9/13/2010 06:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Jeff said...

Comments are going to be moderated for the duration of our confinement in these close quarters."

Awwwwww.......CRAP!!!

........Mad Mutt

9/13/2010 06:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Alice Nutter said...

http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?hl=en&ie=UTF8&ll=53.866852,-2.281036&spn=0,0.091839&z=14&layer=c&cbll=53.866361,-2.280431&panoid=DV_0bJXWiBFw7NRT0Qjzgw&cbp=12,271.35,,0,-2.04

9/13/2010 07:33:00 PM  
Anonymous c2w said...

By the way, anybody ever find a trace of any kind of ARG like I was hearing about? For a project of that nature to be so scary & disruptive & worthy of such convoluted paranoia, I should think that there would be like, you know, a chain of fake websites or an indication on Unforum or something, or SOME kind of trace. Anything?

From my perspective, yes and no, I guess. Though I'm probably not the best person to ask.

Because by that point, I'd already been regularly stalked and harassed for almost two years by a person or persons who plainly didn't know me. Which was sometimes scary even then and has sometimes been truly terrifying since. Disruptive, too.

Although I do admit that's mostly due to my not being in very good shape to begin with. It doesn't take a whole hell of a lot to seriously disrupt me. But that's obviously a much more serious issue than anything we're talking about, and not really anybody's fault. Or anybody's business. Or within anyone's power to do much about, including mine. I try to make the best of it. And beyond that, there's really not anything to say other than:

Yes, since you asked. I've been scarily creepy-stalked both on- and off-line in connection with what some people describe as an ARG, although I'm not one of them. And it's been disruptive.
_____________

Strangely, however, I'm not the one who's complaing. You are. And I totally don't see what you've got such got a chapped ass about at all, never mind wrt to me, specifically. I didn't accuse you of anything, IIRC. I believe, though I'm not certain, that I never even mentioned your name.

Et was enraged at you for (IIRC) insinuating that some time ago, he'd been responsible for the death of his ex-fiancee. Which I thought and still do think was understandable. But I'm pretty sure that's immaterial at this point. Because as I understand it, he got over the part of it that included your sole culpability months ago. Maybe I missed a few updates or something.

But whatever the case: If Et did wrongly accuse you of being part of an ARG while accurately accusing you of publicly mocking him about a painful personal event that wasn't and isn't any concern of yours or the public's and you're still sore about it, take it up with him. I had nothing to do with it.

Thanks.

9/13/2010 07:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Laodicean said...

Aww man. RI was back online for me, for like 5 mins. Now I'm getting a 403 Forbidden error.

9/13/2010 08:06:00 PM  
Anonymous c2w said...

You kinda seem to have a little bit of a revisionism problem overall, as a matter of fact. Please allow me to refresh your memory:

I didn't think or say that there was any big scary and threatening ARG, or any big scary and threatening anything. That was the only point I intended to make that I succeeded in making. Which wasn't much of a coup, since I'd already said the same thing very plainly on lbo's goodbye thread. I started that thread because

(a) As I saw it, RI posters were systematically and routinely being encouraged to take a bunch of people talking shit on the internet (and assorted other instances of equivalently petty harassment) as a serious threat on a par with the kind of mindfuckery practiced IRL by dangerous and destructive professionals that it so manifestly wasn't;

(b) I wanted to dispel what had gotten to be near-constant high levels of tension related to that;

(c) I wanted to show a small number of people who were more agitated than they needed to be by non-existent scary bad guys (and in a few cases their soi-disant victims) once and for all that there was nothing going on that was really worth getting that worked up about; and

(d) I was aiming to throw a spanner into the works of what might or might not have been a real escalating assault on Jeff in particular and the RI board in general. And I knew going in that would end up being a lose-lose proposition for me personally. By definition.

Because if it was what I thought it was, I was confident that I could throw it far enough off course that it wouldn't happen. In which case I'd look like a crazy troublemaker. And if it wasn't what I thought it was: Hey. Exact same outcome.

Either way, I fucked up. On the upside, either way, I have yet to hear from any innocent bystander who was so badly damaged and alienated by it that they still haven't recovered to this day. I mean, like I said, I sure haven't been very popular since I started that thread. And that is due in part to my having started it, although my own numerous dull character flaws and the cumulative effects of long-term heavy trolling deserve some credit there, too.

But you know what? I'm still not the one who's complaining about it. You are. Tell me, how were you injured and what can I do to make it up to you?

Because if your antagonism toward RI and various RI posters was then or is now based on a justified cause for complaint, you forgot clearly to state what it is. And you should really probably do something about that before you write so much as a single other word, spit-spot. Otherwise, everyone will just continue to think that you're motivated by common-garden-variety hateration and/or a mindless quest for lulz and/or the need to inhabit the character you're playing in the interest of lending an air of verisimilitude to the whole general enterprise, whatever it is or isn't.

Eagerly awaiting your reply,

c2w

9/13/2010 08:10:00 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

The problem is fixed, re-indexing in progress. Give it about an hour.

And give Justdrew a lot of love. It'll be his doing.

9/13/2010 08:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Uptivo said...

Yee haw!!! We're almost up and running again. I wonder which forum user name I'm going to use. Hell, maybe I'll use all 17 at once. That will take some strategy, but I think I can pull it off. It's not like "you know who" can figure it out.

9/13/2010 08:22:00 PM  
Anonymous c2w said...

PS:

But hey. You know what? I'm still not the one who's complaining about the lasting damage that thread did to my reputation. And you still are. Tell me, I implore you, how were you injured and what can I do to make it up to you?

Because if your antagonism toward RI and various RI posters was then or is now based on a justified cause for complaint, you forgot clearly to state what it is.

And seriously, you should really probably do something about that before you write so much as a single other word, spit-spot.

Otherwise, everyone will just continue to think that you're motivated by common-garden-variety hateration and/or a mindless quest for lulz and/or the need to inhabit the character you're playing in the interest of lending an air of verisimilitude to the whole general enterprise, whatever it is or isn't.

Eagerly awaiting your reply and the new dawn that will doubtless follow it,

c2w

9/13/2010 08:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Tina Delgado said...

Thanks, c2w. We're all good now. May you find piece in your wanderings. Hugs and kisses from your new BFFL (best friend for life). Sweet dreams.

9/13/2010 08:31:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9/13/2010 08:33:00 PM  
Anonymous c2w said...

Yay.

Could you delete all those dupes when you have the time?

Or tell me how to delete them?

9/13/2010 08:36:00 PM  
Blogger barracuda said...

I agree c2w. Hopefully this event and this thread can be the occasion for a time of healing, not antipathy for all who care or don't care, love or don't love, need or don't need, Rigorous Intuition. Maybe something positive can come out of all this. I know it has for me. I've gotten to know the community better than ever before, and to feel warmly welcomed once again into the heavingly weird bosom of our extended family. Thanks everyone.

And especially justdrew:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FucbvoFFy0

9/13/2010 08:41:00 PM  
Anonymous CD said...

Don't count your buildings before they collapse.

9/13/2010 08:41:00 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Think I got the dupes.

9/13/2010 08:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still love you barracuda!

9/13/2010 09:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mercury went direct last night, that should help things.

Two interesting music videos, lots of energy to them.

The Common (music vid) by The MOLOTOV www.youtube.com/watch?v=whc5MkbGyF8


In The RED by The MOLOTOV www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlDo0t0Jrh4

9/13/2010 09:19:00 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Unrelated to our problem though delaying its resolution, the host is coincidentally dealing with a crashed server. Hopefully not much longer.

9/13/2010 10:00:00 PM  
Anonymous c2w said...

Thanks, c2w. We're all good now. May you find piece in your wanderings. Hugs and kisses from your new BFFL (best friend for life). Sweet dreams.

So lemme get this straight.

When challenged for evidence that you were wrongly accused by any of the people you curse and belittle for allegedly linking you to some evil malevolent ARG thing or whatever, you buttress your complaint by withdrawing it?

And even more to the point:

So lemme get this straight.

Even the non-super-villainous tricksters are now too pussy to debate me?

Oh, man. I guess I'm just going to have to learn how to play cribbage or something.

Best wishes to you, nevertheless.

9/13/2010 10:29:00 PM  
Anonymous seemslikeadream said...

WikiLeaks readying the ‘biggest leak of military intelligence ever

9/13/2010 10:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WTG justdrew! However, I'm gonna stick around here.

82_28

9/13/2010 10:48:00 PM  
Blogger Mentalgongfu said...

As entertaining as idiocy from banned and disappeared posters can be, I'll be happy when the board gets back up. I don't know what else to do on the web but watch cartoons and check compulsively for facebook status updates.

-mgf2

9/14/2010 12:02:00 AM  
Blogger barracuda said...

http://www.aolnews.com/weird-news/article/another-ufo-shuts-down-another-airport-in-china/19632027

Just months after an unidentified object temporarily shut down an airport in China, another UFO briefly halted operations at a different Chinese airport.

According to initial sketchy reports in ShanghaiDaily.com and the People's Daily Online, the UFO forced the Baotou airport in China's Inner Mongolia province to prevent three planes from landing for almost an hour Saturday night.

Whatever the unknown object was -- and mind you, nobody is claiming aliens or interdimensional beings here -- it was reported hovering near the airport. As strictly a safety response, officials wouldn't allow aircraft to land and directed two of them to land at neighboring airports (where, presumably, the UFO had no interest).

According to a Baotou airport spokeswoman, "The airport received a notice from the Hohhot Air Traffic Management Bureau about the appearance of a UFO.

"To guarantee security, the aircraft heading for the airport had to land at secondary airports. Otherwise, it may have led to collisions."


By 10 p.m., normal operations at the Baotou airport resumed, and, as often happens in these cases, no official explanation has yet been offered about the identity of the object in question.

In July, a UFO forced officials to shut down Xiaoshan airport in China's Zhijiang province.

While no official explanation has emerged from that incident, most experts believe it was likely a misidentification of a Chinese military test.

9/14/2010 12:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stomp once for Britney, and twice for Bee-On-Say,now stomp three times if you wanna hear me get nasty. Oooh girl! Get Nasty.

9/14/2010 12:59:00 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Party at my other place.

9/14/2010 02:02:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe sometimes circumstances
Conspire against us all.
Maybe everyone lives ten hours and twelve minutes
From an enemy of the mind.
Maybe ideas cannot compete with the howls
Of the wolves perceived at the door.
Maybe a clever simulation of intelligence
By people with too much time on their hands
Is a worthy entertainment.
Maybe a kind of zen detachment is required
To write anything at all.
Probably I take everything too seriously
Too much to heart.
When intuition calls for something
Rigor cannot evade
Write more.
Write anyway.
Best wishes.

9/14/2010 08:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

From The Consul - I had managed to stay away from RI for a while, especially since Jeff came down with postus ineruptus. Then, like a bee to the flower, or the fly to the pile, I was drawn back and back again. Now that it is down, 911ish no less, I did not know what to do other than go to the bookstore and get a copy of the Friar's club book on jokes. There are posters on RI whom I revere, and even those I don't I read with interest when they manage to make more sense than me. No doubt within the "community" there are those who would push in a wooden horse. Oh what a floodgate it will be when it goes back up! Perhaps Jeff can time that new post along with it!?

9/14/2010 10:42:00 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Consul, we're back up.

9/14/2010 11:12:00 AM  
Blogger ericswan said...

What's with all this navel gazing lolly gagging? Tina, you're a stand up stand out strand of molecular nice. Here's one for you.

9/14/2010 11:13:00 AM  
Anonymous darkest before the delta dawn said...

the forum's going to have to wait. i'm still trying to peace this thing together and figure it out. i can't get past ARG though. is it an insurance company? if so, why is an insurance company interested in attacking jeff's forum? i don't get it. any help would be greatly appreciated.

9/14/2010 01:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is it just me or is Jeff acting like this site was down for only a few days? It's one year and one week. He must have something to post by now.

9/28/2010 02:47:00 AM  
Blogger Alex said...

Our thoughts can only react to the contents of our memory. Starting from a conditioned part of our conscience. This means that each thought is formed by the past and no thought can be truly new. It can only be the result of an addition of two different thoughts that nobody has thought before, but that thought can only arise from the past and therefore from our conditioning. Something really new can be born only if we manage to get rid of that content from the past. This does not mean that this content will have disappeared from our consciousness, but simply that it does not dominate our thoughts. This potential for insight or foresight is called intuition. Most of us do not take into consideration the fair value of this potential. Many are so attached to their manner of thought that they do not open up for another manner of observation and perception. This preserves the past and therefore their conditioning.

1/31/2011 05:41:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Damn -- Are we back to 'this' sql error again, this time Dec. 7, 2011?

Goes to show, how quick & thoroughly the 'they' can shut the site down and isolate us from our favorite deep-politics-news-and-views-update forum...

May the Force Be With You!

12/07/2011 09:25:00 PM  

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